I'm sure a million things have come and gone since I last scrawled; The UK's biggest pantomime starring Simon Cowell is upon us once again, the BBC gave Nick Griffin enough rope to hang himself only for him to use it to lasso more disillusioned and mentally challenged supporters, The Sun cashed in on dead soldier grief and Boris Johnson became some kind of crime-fighting hero wielding an iron bar and some out-dated middle class slang.
But all of these things happened in the real world. No point labouring over them, there's little I can do to affect anything. It's not like I'm Jan Moir or anything, I'm smallfry to her big homophobic pike.
Unfortunately back in the real world, not a lot has been going on. I did have a lovely exchange with a doorman at a pub on the Walworth Road though on Saturday night.
Doorman: "Hello ladies, and it's £10 to get in for you mate."
Me: "Really? It doesn't say it's £10"
Doorman: "Does mate, up there" (points to handwritten shit sign on A4 paper bluetacked to the door saying '£10 Entry')
Special looking woman hanging around the entrance: "Yeah it does, says it on that sign" (points to same shit sign)
Me (after looking at the shit sign): "Oh ok, I'm going home then"
Doorman: "Ok mate, ok. £5 then."
Me: "No, I'm Ok mate"
Doorman: "Ok mate, Ok. Are you local?"
Me: "What?"
Doorman: "You local?"
Me: "I live down the road..."
Doorman: "Ok mate, Ok. Go on in. No trouble though."
That's some good door policy. Apart from the fact there was no till and the doorman was clearly pocketing the cash - the insinuation that people 'local' to the Walworth Road area won't cause trouble is pretty amusing. And deluded.
Perhaps more amusing was the steady flow of our male friends who all came into the pub saying 'Did he ask you to pay £10?', before explaining on threat of leaving the doorman had in fact let them in as he did for me. Not before pointing out the shit sign though.
Oh and then three policemen came in (classy pub). Doubt they got showed the sign.
I'll try to be back soon. Bye.
